Costco in Paradise

We sat on a beach, watching the last few golden wisps on sunlight drop below the cloudy horizon while little crabs popped in and out of their holes scuttling to and fro with no apparent drive to do much of anything but wrestle and hunt for food.I think I'll have the crab and the crabs will have the sunset.

I think I’ll have the crab and the crabs will have the sunset.

I said to Fiona, “Don’t those crabs even realize how beautiful this is?”

Twenty minutes later, we were sitting on the balcony of our room, munching on cheese and crackers when it dawned on me. The only thing that differentiates us from these crustaceans is that occasionally we do stop and look at the sunset. It was the perfect ending to an imperfect first two days of vacation.

I sat in front of Satan’s daughter on the first leg of our flight. Fiona’s bag decided to do an overnight in Seattle to see the Space Needle, toss some fish and hang out with Irene McGee for a bit. We spent 22 straight hours awake, only to land and go to the grocery store for coffee. We crashed hard but woke up only three hours later from noise and the time change. We broke the key in the lock of the timeshare.

While often called the Space Needle of Maui by Seattle tourists, Fiona's bag was not here.

While often called the Space Needle of Maui by Seattle tourists, Fiona’s bag was not here.

Most of our first twenty-four in Maui was spent blocking and tackling #sportsmetaphors. Costco, the grocery store and the like because we must have our POG juice and rum. But first, we headed to Moose McGillycuddy’s in Kihei so that I could saddle up to the bar and watch the Browns game. Yes, I understand I’m in paradise, but 40 years of watching the Browns means no matter where I am, I must watch the Browns. It’s like having a medication case with the days of the week on it, but only contains a pill on Sunday (or Monday or Thursday or Saturday).

Moose McGillycuddy’s is an excellent place to watch a game (Tip: If you get there at least 30 minutes before kickoff, you can pick your spot and they’ll change the TV to the game you want to watch). A pair of beers and a three egg omelet so packed that they must have used dinosaur eggs to make it. This is not as unlikely as you might think. Hawaii + Hurricanes + liberated chickens = the closest thing we have to dinosaurs in the modern world. There are chickens all over the place in Maui, just hanging out. Running errands. Surfing. Voting. Anyway, the Browns looked terrible but still managed to win the game.

With the chickens and plants like this, Maui is getting all Jurassic Park up in our business.

With the chickens and plants like this, Maui is getting all Jurassic Park up in our business.

 

Invasive species like the one pictured here are a problem on all of the Hawaiian islands.

Invasive species like the one pictured here are a problem on all of the Hawaiian islands.

We did sneak some touristing in. Between the Browns game and Costco, we drove out to Iao Valley State Park to see one of the most recognizable landmarks on the island, the Iao Needle. The needle extends 1,200 feet into the air and is stunningly green. The park itself is a very short walk, but is a nice primer to the more adventurous walks we’ll be taking the rest of the trip. Ample vegetation and pretty views, it gave us a few minutes to enjoy Hawaii before we went to pick up Fiona’s bag at the airport and do the most American of touristy things-shopping.

Honey, I don't think that's the way to Costco.

Honey, I don’t think that’s the way to Costco.

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