Tweet4Meat 5: This Time It’s Delicious

Basketball and Tom Selleck have nothing to do with each other but you have to live your life, grandma.

It’s time for #Tweet4Meat 5, and my egg bake game is tighter than Tom Selleck at a grandma convention.  This year we are expecting the best jokes (they will still be terrible) and the largest amount of money (which will not be terrible) raised since this project began five years ago.

What is #Tweet4Meat?

Why, it’s only is the only tax-deductible hashtag [citation needed] on Twitter.  For a whole week, some of the funniest people on the Internet will tell jokes (often food-related) and encourage others to donate to Heifer International via our FirstGiving page.  In the past four years, Tweet4Meat has raised more than $24,500, and this year we are raising the stakes (pun intended) by aiming for $10,000.  That’s about 500 flocks of ducks, 333 hives of bees or funding for five female-led farming cooperatives in Nepal (oddly specific, but on task).

What can I do to help?

The easiest thing to do is give right here.  You can write your own jokes and share the #Tweet4Meat hashtag and this link (bit.ly/tweet4meat2015) to encourage friends, family or that creepy dude who stars all of your tweets to donate.  Can’t think of something funny to say?  No worries, retweet #Tweet4Meat jokes with vigor! It’s your Twitter and you dig it the best, baby.

This thing again, really?
Yes. Don’t be a jerkpants about it.

Why Heifer International?
Because meat jokes are always funny to our inner 12-year-olds, and the stoners took #Tweet4Tacos.  The real reason is that Heifer International funds projects from Arkansas to Angola to help empower people to change their lives.  They don’t just drop a goat on someone’s doorstep and say, “Have at it!” They help communities increase income and assets that enable them to develop stronger, sustainable local economies.  Heifer International also works to educate women and promote gender equality through its opportunities.  What could be more important than that?

You can read more about Heifer International on its website.

I’m a socially conscious vegetarian, can I help?

I AM NOT A STEAK, I AM A MAN. GOAT… KID… GOAT… I AM GOAT!

Yes. While we can’t guarantee that our collective donation won’t go to a goat, we can promise that it won’t go to goat steaks.  Heifer International doesn’t deliver meat to a community.  They deliver hope for the future in return for a pledge to pay that gift forward.
Give a family a goat and the next year it has baby goats (BABY GOATS), those baby goats (BABY GOATS) are given to another member of the community.  Within two decades the entire community is making goat milk for use in overpriced lattes in Manhattan [results may vary].

We appreciate any and all contributions to Tweet4Meat. If you have an idea or an incentive you’d like to offer to help reach our goal, let me or @juicymorsel know so we can help ensure it’s shared widely.

Remember: The chicken only crossed the road to look for a sustainable farmer — and a rooster. Probably a rooster.

Please donate now.

Here’s a list of amazing people committed to participating in Tweet4Meat 2015

AmberTozer • audipenny •  BDGarp • Behindyourback • BillMc7 • blobert • btemps • CabbageNews • Cheeseboy22 • cjwerlman • Cortronic • cpinck • crowejam • DanielRCarrillo • DothTheDoth • dwaghalter • Dragnut • Exlibris • FattMernandez • FilthyRichmond • Gladstone • gneicco • Greeblehaus • hiimles • Home_Halfway • Hormonella • Hurlarious • Igotsmarts • Jedfudally • JennyPentland • jerryRenek • John_M15 • Jwynia • Karentozzi • KayM77 • KristiCollen • Linajkreturns • LaetPO • LifeCoachers • longwall26 • LostCatDog • llvvzz • Manda_like_wine • ManginaMcCool • Marcmack • MarcusTheToken • MarkAgee • mauleePillar • MetricButtload • MollySneed • MrWordsWorth • OhNoSheTwitnt • nice_mustard • Northpacific • Paxochka • PoguePhilosophy • Primawesome • ProfessorSnack • ReelQuinn • RexHuppke • SamReidSays • ScottLinnen •  Shanehasabeard • Shanethevein • shariv67 • SirEviscerate • Smethanie • Somecleverthing •   SteveHuff • Squiggleline • TheBosha • TheDairyLandDon • Theguydf • Theleanover • TheNardvark • Thereisnohurry • thetigersez • TheWallStBull • Tinynietzsche • Trixieboots • TwiterHero • UncleDynamite • UNTRESOR • VerifriedDrunk • VocabuLarry • WarrenHolstein • wwwesty •yoyoha